Moving to a new country can be challenging for many immigrants, especially for Ashima Ganguli in The Namesake. Among many characters in the Namesake, I as well can relate to Ashima’s life. Just like her, I too am an immigrant. It was hard for me to start a new life in Canada, because I was a kid who grew up with many relatives and family friends. Therefore, I felt that moving to Canada, away from my family will not able me to maintain a close relationship with them anymore. Before moving to America, Ashima did not understand what it is like to be lonely, as she was always surrounded by loving family and friends. She was amazingly shocked by how her life in America turned out to be the complete opposite to her old life in Calcutta. As a woman who had a free life back home, she was affected by the lonely life she encountered in America. Similar to Ashima, I also had to face many challenges when I moved to Canada. As I said before, I was a kid who grew up with many relatives, so when I moved to Canada, I too felt very lonely and isolated. Unlike Ashima, I thankfully had my mom, dad and sister with me in Canada to distract myself from the majority of the loneliness. Although, even with some family in Canada, I never had the same experience as I did back at home. Both Ashima and I did not have a hard time making friends, and integrating into the society, but that does not mean we still did not feel lonely. So, even though there are many opportunities in the first world countries, why is it that we immigrants can never fulfill our loneliness? Also, why is it that we can never bring back the same happiness we had back home?
Upon many things that Ashima had to face in a new country, one of the biggest challenges was adapting to a new culture. Ashima was from a family where culture had a huge significance on them. Back home, Ashima was an independent, social woman, but when she moved to America, I as a reader perceived her to be a dependent and isolated woman. In comparison to Ashima, my mother was also an independent woman as working as a nurse back home. After she moved to Canada, I saw her life turning out to be more dependent on my father. Why is that, women become more dependent on others after they move to a foreign country?
In first world countries, it is not unusual for couples to use pet names for each other, but according to Ashima’s and Ashoke’s culture, it is very rare for couples to address each other using pet names, even if they are married. Other than pet names, Ashima and Ashoke never called each other by their names even if they knew it. Just like Ashima and Ashoke, my mother and father never use pet names for each other. My sister and I had never heard my mom calling my dad “honey” or “sweetie”, and vice versa. Unlike Ashima and Ashoke, my parents do call each other by their first names. Do you think it is only the Indian culture where couples do not address each other using pet names? If so, are there any other cultures that do not promote the use of pet names, and why do you think they are not used?
Challenge and Change 
I can completely relate to how you felt isolated when you moved away from such a close-knit family. Even today, the only family (aside from my immediate family) that I have in Canada is my cousins’, and another in Ohio, USA. The rest of my family is back home in Serbia, so when we moved to Canada, it was a complete shock to adapt to life without such loving family members around me. I think immigrants are unable to possess the same happiness (compared to back home) because we left our hearts there. Home is where we constantly turn to and embrace as a strong part of ourselves, but as much as we try to feel it in our new country, it is never the same because so much has been left behind that cannot be replaced.
I definitely do not agree that women become more dependent on husbands once in a new country. I think that they are more dependent in the home country, depending on where they come from. In Serbia, women are traditionally dependant on their husband, but if they both have solid careers that is never the case.
I’d say pet names are used when a couple is very comfortable, regardless of culture. I think they are commonly used at home, but not in public because it is more of an intimate thing.
It is not wrong to say that there are some couples in my country that uses pet names to call each other, however most Sri Lankan couples that i know do not use pet names simply because they are not familiar nor used to things like that. As we all know many people inherit things from their parents, so if their parents do not use pet names for each other sometimes it is certain that their children will not use pet names for their spouses.
I have personally never heard my parents address each other with pet names. When I hear people address their spouses with names such as “sweetie”, “darling”, etc, I find it disgusting and disrespectful. I personally don’t think it is acceptable. People should be called by their name or in a more respectful way. It is true that, in a relationship, between an Indian couples, the wife never calls her husband by his name. I feel like this shows, through Ashima’s relationship with Ashoke, that the Bengali-Indian culture is very strict and respectful. I don’t know about other cultures, but I believe that if there are other cultures that do not enforce the use of pet names, they are imposing nothing but respect.
To add on, I think that women are more dependent on their husbands after leaving their country because they no longer have the same social circle, luxuries and freedom to be to independent in a new society. They are completely foreign to a different country, where they are strangers. Therefore, they need to hold someone’s hand, who is ultimately their husband, to guide them through a strange, new process.
Finally, I think the reason as to why immigrants have such a hard time overcoming their loneliness in a new country, is because they have been exposed to the warmth and love from their immediate family for such a long time. When their family disappears, so does the feeling of being loved and supported every day. The affection and comfort suddenly becomes so distant. Especially, when their spouse they are living with, is always so occupied in work and can’t spend all day wrapping their arm around their shoulder and giving them the comfort and warmth they need. It’s kind of like removing a warm blanket from you when you are sleeping. The blanket leaves with all the warmth and comfort and all you have left is your clothes to keep you slightly warm as you sleep, during your time in a different consciousness.
I feel that as an immigrant you always have a longing to return back to your country because that is where the first memories of your life had taken place. Also, it is especially hard to adapt to a new culture when your whole life you’ve been living a different way. This is a truggle that i have seen my parents go through, and still to this day they do. Given that, i can understand Ashima’s lonliness because she is constantly thinking about her family and her life back home in India.